Who am I now? I’ve rewritten and updated this section so many times wondering what is relevant about me to share here. Everybody has a some sort of transformational and personal growth story and mine is no different. It seems us humans like to connect and relate through story. So here it is In short I have transformed my life from being a depressed, confused and stressed being of wrongness, to an explorer of creativity, lightness and expansive possibilities. At age 11 I tried to take my own life, but thank goodness I did a bad job at it. I contemplated suicide several times in my teens up until early 30s. But now I have tools, options and choices to navigate my way through those moments. Being present with what was and what is without judgement is the ongoing journey of mastery for all of us and it is something I am very passionate about doing. I managed to change my perspective in life from things being NOT possible for me to anything IS possible for me. I found that life can get better (and better and better) and that choice is certainly available. A lighter way of living IS accessible when we’re ready to choose it and receive it. Intergenerational Trauma
I was a quiet, shy, obedient young girl who was not willing to own and claim my voice in the world. I was coasting on mediocre - not sticking out too much, but doing well enough in life to keep out of trouble. Blending into the background was my coping strategy in life. 'Freeze and fawn' was my modus operandi created from a collection of handed down trauma experiences as a child. My parents were born in HK and my paternal grandfather was sold out as his own family were so poor. He grew up becoming bitter, abusive and turned to the bottle. My maternal grandmother was put into a mental asylum, leaving my mother to 'mother' her siblings at tender age of 16, whilst her father was away a lot working as a chef out at sea. So from a systemic constellations point of view, both my lines had experienced interruptions in the flow of love and those living were compensating for that to try and re-balance the system. My strategy was to become super obedient, fast and keep everything tidy to win my parents approval. It was never enough. Was functioning from fawn working for me as a young adult? Well, it did to a certain extent. I did quite well in my so called career in the corporate world being super efficient at delivering the tasks at hand. I had a long term relationship, owned a London apartment, and had become a Business Analyst. Fancy. It was in 2007 when the universe delivered a couple of catalytic events for me that changed the course of my life. This came in the form of my then partner announcing that he was sexually confused and that he had contracted HIV. Wedge number one. Wedge number two came the day after. I was informed by my family that our aunt had committed suicide. These events were enough to create a flip my world upside down and prompted me to question everything in my life and I mean EVERYTHING. The cracks I had covered up from my childhood were ready to be seen, as well as uncovering the intergenerational trauma. I had to tear up my life script of beliefs I was holding and re-hash a new one. And that I have done several times over. It also turns out that my soul/universe/god/me was giving me a big nudge to make a different choice and usher (push) me into the world of woo and all that comes with it. Moving from a logical material liner world of order to a world of energy, abstract realms and self-enquiry was quite a challenge at first. But deep down I knew this holistic ballistic way of looking at life was what was missing in my world. It has been a wild and crazy adventure of deep healing, joyful expansions, speaking to things I can’t see and all other weird experiences in between to reconnect to the truth of who I be. Learning to land back down to earth and integrate all of that with the world we live in today has been my calling. The journey never ends. Forever seeking to expand ones consciousness and to realise that I/WE already AM/ARE. Freedom comes when we realise we already are. Like many other healers, coaches, therapists, meditators and cosmic bunnies out there - I have received many life learnings, tools and expansive experiences that light my life up and a whole heap of experiences that did not light up my world. We all have some level and form of childhood trauma that impacts the way we adult in the world. The great news is that there are many healing practices out there and it seems the collective are ready for that healing, or at least be okay to have a look and talk about it. Healing for me is not about fixing things. Healing for me is being the space of no judgement so that people have more ease with the choices they have made in the past and be able to address the difficult and shadowy aspects of their life; changing the unconscious to the conscious. Shedding light onto the matter. That's where the magic is for me. Light Your Life That brings me to the here and now. All the tools, trainings, certifications, initiations, studies, weirdiverse experiences and reconnections to me, my ancestors and lineage to source I have tapped into so far, I can access and bring that forth to meet you in the moment that is ripe for you, me and we. Like a spark of light igniting the spark in you Joyous choice and exploring possibilities are at the very heart of what I do and can bring these to whatever area of your life you desire. In what ways can I work with you that invites lightness into your next inspired step? Whether that be using sound vibrations to assist you back to your coherent resonance; or self mastery sessions releasing limiting patterns from your world or voice alchemy classes to transform how you show up in the world. What contribution can I be to the change and choice you would like to see you your world? Are you ready to ignite your light within? Yee Ley xx
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